were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
