Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
