we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
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I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
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in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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