I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
