So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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