Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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