Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
