ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We were destined to go to rehab together
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
