Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
