just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Alive.
So much puke
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
