Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
