I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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