i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
