If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
