please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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