so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
why is half of my head shaved?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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