Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
