There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
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he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
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Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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