Got a toothbrush?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
