Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
