Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize