I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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