took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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