we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize