I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
