FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think I sprained my soul last night
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
