even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
