Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
