This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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