it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
