I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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