reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
