I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
