hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
