i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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