So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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