Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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