1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
