I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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