Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
