Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
