New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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