i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
