tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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