You just made me feel so damn special
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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