Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
