At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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