I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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