Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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