but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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