2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize