god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
