she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
