party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
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Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
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COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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