This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
