so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
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I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
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I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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