After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
